All is Shallow

I'm surrounded by this darkness. I know that symbolism is pretty worn out but I find it very descriptive and understandable. Or maybe a heavy, impenetrable fog is better... I'm not sure.
Either way, It makes me feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere, unable to see anything around me, unable to have any idea of which direction to go in or if it's better to just stay. It doesn't seem to matter anyways. Because no matter where I go I'm convinced that the fog or the darkness is everywhere else as well - so it won't make any difference.
There is nothing to do and nothing to see. I can't even see my own hand if I raise it to look at it. Everything is pointless and worthless. And that's just the world as it is. It's not because something dramatic has happened and the world is in a changing state or whatever. It's just how it is. Might as well be empty. Or completely filled, with nothingness... Happiness is worth just as much as pain because apparently this dense and impenetrable darkness (going for a mixture here: darkness with a substantial texture) has pierced my body and spread throughout it. So not even feelings make any difference. They might be there but I don't notice them.
Everything just feels so pointless, so insignificant. Nothing matters. It's all the same.
It's all shallow - except the darkness, that's really deep!
- It's like the dementors have gotten to me and now I'm gone. 

That is how I feel most of the time. Then, when I do feel, It's nothing but anxiety. Panic. Paranoia!

I can't seem to find any enthusiasm. Sometimes I feel like I can sort of sense it peaking its head up from somewhere but then it's gone again before I have time to react.
I want to be enthusiastic about stuff!

Maybe I should try blogging about something positive for a change....