Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Perspectiveless Ego

What happened to my perspective and empathy? I think I used to have some...
Instead, I seem to have developed the idea that the universe revolves around me.
I believe I used to be somewhat rational. Always a bit eccentric, yes, but still rational.
Now my vision is limited to include only aspects regarding me. How did I get to this ignorant point of view where I feel others ought to trouble themselves with me and my problems and insane thought patterns?
I've seriously become one of the most self-centered persons I know. I'm doing a 15 ECTS-point project on my-effing-self and my oh so dismal fragilities. Come on...!

And it's making me even more paranoid, since I never could and still can't handle others' negative opinions of me. And honestly, the way I'm behaving... who could expect anything but negative opinions.
Again, I've got myself stuck in a positive feedback loop of negativity. Every little negative fragment upregulates every other negative fragment, including the first one which then again enforces the others and so on and so on...

A myopic self-pitiful egoist.

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