The Big Internet Theory

I just turned off my computer after about 2 hours of tumbling, tweeting, facebooking, youtubing, and also watching breaking bad, while repeatedly telling myself to go to bed. But when you have to sleep and you aren't tired, you just think. A lot. Sooo many thoughts! So I grabbed my computer again because I wanted to talk to you, blog!

And this is what I was thinking about.
I have a theory. About my internet life. About why I love living here on the internet. It's not just because it's great here, and I get to live inside where the weather is always nice (#johngreenreference).
It's also because I feel free here. I feel free to be "me".
 - I know what you're thinking - "Oh, great, one of those posts", but hear me out here... I actually find this interesting. (Nicci, that convinces nobody. You find phlegm interesting!)
It has always been a huge problem for me that I constantly feel like I'm in the way. I've always been very quiet, feeling like whatever I wanted to say was of no interest or importance to others. Always tried to hide and become invisible, because I felt that I would be in the way if I was "actually there". In the way of other people's needs, desires, and happiness. And if I stood in the way like that, obviously, everyone would dislike me. That was how I saw it. And therefore I did my best to avoid being noticed (and I did a pretty good job too, in spite of my hair color).
Today I see that it is irrational, but the problem is that it has long since become a big part of my personality. In fact, it is almost the entire root of it.
So, I still feel like I'm always in the way. Even though I see that it is irrational. (I am no Temperance Brennan, I am not that ruled by logic)

And this brings me to my point...
On the internet - in my blogs, vlogs, tweets, updates, and so on - I can be myself, without being in anybody's way. Because people can choose if they want to read/watch/whatever or not. If they find my rants about social norms whiny, they can just skip them. If they find my tweets about Booth annoying, they can unfollow. If they don't want to watch all the Harry Potter videos I link to on facebook, then they just don't click the fucking link. And I know it. It is so liberating!! All of the stuff I feel is random Nicci bullshit that most people won't find interesting... I just spill it out all over the internet. I can make as much of a mess as I like, because I'm the only one who has to live with it. The internet is SO big that everyone else living here won't be bothered by all of my crap.
I have never had that feeling before, and I like it. I don't even care if it is selfish!!!

So that is my theory about why I love living on the internet.

DFTBA