To anyone who still thinks that I always excel at everything school-related - I would like to take this opportunity to obliterate this perception once and for all! (And I know, you (you know who you are!) are thinking that I complain about myself all the time, and I'm overreacting and making it much worse than it actually is. You will not listen to me, you will not get it, but I can't change that. So I'm complaining anyways!)
So, I just handed in a pretty big assignment last week. I've been working on it for months and I have to defend it tomorrow (if I haven't dropped dead from anxiety by then, that is...).
Now, I thought it was okay, really. But I keep finding more and more mistakes in it. Obvious, horrible, disturbing mistakes! I honestly feel like I've never before handed in anything this bad - at least not without having decided from the beginning that I wouldn't put much effort into it. But the thing is, I did put effort into this!! I spent a lot of time on it, and I haven't followed my other classes at all because I wanted to focus on this project. But I feel like I totally failed at it. Really.
(Yes yes, I know I always think I'm gonna fail at every subject right before my exam, which has not happened yet, so obviously it's not like my world is coming to an end, and yes life will go on. Probably. But I cannot be that rational right now. I'm having a 48 hour panic attack, for Merlin's sake)This really really is way below my standard - and not just the crazy standard that I want to reach, but the standard that I actually do reach. Normally!
It makes my feel so so bad. Like, physically ill. I am seriously embarrassed.
Example? You would think I could spell the word 'biologic' by now... Especially since biology is what I'm studying. But nope, it seems I can't. I realized this (after a week, might I add!) when looking at the frakkin' front page! Really, the front page! I stood and laminated three copies of this page - which has very few words on it, in a huge font size - without noticing a thing.
And before you go all "oh nooo, you misspelled a word, how can you possibly live on??" I have much worse mistakes than misspellings in this thing... And when you add them all up, it just comes off very unprofessional.
So yes, negative Nicci took over once again... Sorry about that.
If you've made it all the way down here (without skipping anything) then I'm impressed! Thanks for "listening"
Today's Song: Facing the sun - Treefight for sunlight
Today's Quote: All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. - Gandalf
Today's Link: Feel sorry for me??
Today's Shot:
i understand the stressing Nicci! it's the worst when you've turned something in and are waiting and have time to look everything over with fresh eyes.
ReplyDeletedo your best to breath and relax, though! i don't want you to spontaneously combust before leakycon!
Thanks Erin, I will try my best to relax. I think I'll be doing better tomorrow after my defense...
ReplyDeleteI promise I won't be combusting anytime before LeakyCon ! :)